2006 Tribune article

It was a celebration of his life, not a mourning of his death, at Ray Meyer's funeral

David Haugh, Tribune staff reporter

CHICAGO TRIBUNE

Reciting a prayer from the altar of St. Vincent de Paul Church during the funeral for Ray Meyer, Rev. Dennis H. Holtschneider stumbled when he was supposed to invoke the name of Pope Benedict.

"I looked out and almost said `Pope Ray,"' Holtschneider, the president of DePaul University, later told the crowd. "I caught myself."

That was the esteem with which Meyer was remembered in a touching 90-minute ceremony Tuesday in front of about 800 family members and friends that was more merry than maudlin. Meyer might not have enjoyed pontiff status at the time of his death Friday at 92, but DePaul gave him a sendoff worthy of Chicago's patron saint of basketball.

"He was like the pope--a beautiful, beautiful man," said New York Knicks President Isiah Thomas, who grew up on the West Side and broke Meyer's heart when he chose Indiana over DePaul after graduating from St. Joseph's of Westchester in 1979.

"He means so much to all of us from Chicago. I didn't go to DePaul, but my heart and spirit will always be there."

Former DePaul star Mark Aguirre, a Knicks assistant, accompanied Thomas and Knicks coach Larry Brown, praising Meyer as "a man who changed who I am."

Aguirre and Thomas were among a group of former DePaul players and college basketball luminaries who gathered before the funeral for a breakfast at which they exchanged hugs and their favorite Meyer stories.

Digger Phelps, the former Notre Dame coach and ESPN analyst, typified the emotion of the day when he choked up while recalling for reporters how he regarded Meyer as a father figure. Former Utah coach Rick Majerus, ex-DePaul and current Virginia coach Dave Leitao, Northwestern coach Bill Carmody and Notre Dame coach Mike Brey joined a congregation that included former Gov. Jim Edgar and Alderman Vi Daley as well as various college and NCAA representatives.

Brey's Irish lost a double-overtime NIT game at Michigan on Monday night, but he made it to Chicago for the service, accompanied by Notre Dame athletic director Kevin White.

Rev. John Smyth kept the mood light by delivering a homily that mixed humor with sentimentality. Patty Errico, one of Meyer's 18 grandchildren, thanked her grandfather in an eloquent tribute for "enriching our lives."

"Forget about praying for Ray; pray to him," Smyth said. "He's up there [in heaven]. If he's not up there, I'm in trouble."

After comforting the grieving family with the assurance they had "lived with a legend," Smyth recalled with a smile his last visit with Meyer about a week ago. Meyer told the priest how much he still wanted to go to next month's Final Four.

"Now he's at the Final Four--he has the best seat in the house," Smyth said. "With [wife] Marge telling him what to do."

The laughter that spread through the church seemed appropriate for the funeral of a man whose legacy will be a smile as much as it will be 724 career victories in a Hall of Fame career. At the end of the ceremony, Smyth urged the congregants to let the DePaul legend hear them in heaven. Applause echoed off the ornate walls.

"I consider this a celebration," son Joey Meyer said at the outset of his eulogy.

He then kept the faces smiling with stories of his father before he became "Coach Ray," such as the day Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig handed a very young Ray Meyer a medal after a baseball tournament.

Joey Meyer also revealed how badly his dad had wanted to play football for Knute Rockne and how much it meant for him to meet Will Rogers one day as a Notre Dame student while working in a dormitory kitchen.

He also poked fun at his dad's habit of biting his tongue when he got angry and his penchant for stinging one-liners, a family favorite being, "If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose."

"We didn't have halftime talks in those days--we had halftime yells," Meyer said.

The Ray Meyer only his family saw also used to sign personal notes at the bottom of form letters even while using a heating pad to alleviate hand cramps. And he considered running his summer camp in Three Lakes, Wis., his true calling.

"That was his first love," Joey Meyer said of the camp, which his dad attended well into his 80s. "I remember one time going back when he was 83 years old, in 90-degree heat, coaching these kids like he was getting them ready for the Final Four."

It was that commitment to giving and his passion for goodness that made Meyer, in the words of Smyth, "a missionary for DePaul." Holtschneider compared Meyer's humility and instinct to do good to the spirit of St. Vincent de Paul.

Every speaker marveled at Meyer's ability to stay humble and make strangers feel like longtime friends no matter how big his celebrity grew.

"If you ever want to be invisible, you should have gone with Coach to the Final Four. He could talk with coach Wooden or a fan, and you couldn't tell the difference," Joey Meyer said, referring to former UCLA coach John Wooden.

At the end of his eulogy, Meyer told the story about how his dad used to say the rosary at every pregame mass they attended as father and son during the 26 years the Meyers competed together.

Then he paused and looked toward the casket.

"Well, Coach, it's our last mass together, [and] I want you to remember one thing," he said.

"You may be gone, but you'll never be forgotten."

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dhaugh@tribune.com